brushstrokes: in quiet moments
11 April 2008
my lungs filled with smoke
(slow exhaled).
my ears with dirge. a cool wind whispers
a wash of rain. my mind with
shook foil and the ooze of oil…I
am touched—
Otherworldly;
so the spirit visits in quiet
moments and with tender breath
(goose-pimpled flesh
his only
visible
trail).
11 April 2008 at 2:50 pm
very sensual… i loved the ending.. just perfection….
11 April 2008 at 4:30 pm
Very atmospheric, and I really like the way you’ve shaped the words into patterns of rising smoke
11 April 2008 at 10:22 pm
Very potent. Visually, as well as in words.
12 April 2008 at 2:36 am
“goose pimpled flesh” - becomes unbelievably poetic with suggestions of a snail’s trail.
Lovely images.
Gemma
12 April 2008 at 4:18 am
Very nicely done. I like it alot.
12 April 2008 at 4:43 pm
Love the goose-pimply flesh! Beautiful images in here!
14 April 2008 at 2:08 am
Lovely work - some fine phrases make the piece sing…
17 April 2008 at 3:33 am
A lovely poem. It has a wonderful feel. Nice blog.
20 April 2008 at 1:43 am
I love the phrase “a cool wind whispers a wash of rain.” I can actually feel that.